Part I: A Fresh Start

Part 18

Moving was one of the best choices we ever made. Packing our belongings into a mini-van and stashing the remaining items at my in-law’s home, we left. Excited, with a job lined up but no home, we joined up at a community farm where my friend lived.

There was an old camperized school bus out back and we slept there, spending our time in the house with 6 other young adults. It was a great way to get plugged in to the community! Their friends became our friends and we instantly had access to healthy, naturally raised food!

And my man lost his job before he even began. Calling in to report he was ready to begin work Monday, he was informed he did not have a job after all. Gulp! We stuck it out and in short time, another opening came with an amazing boss and (mostly) steady work. We’re deeply grateful! A job was had, but it took us 4 months to find a home, so intense was the need that summer!

I had also made an appointment for my Lyme disease at a particular center. We had heard amazing things about their practice with Chinese Medicine and though I was skeptical, I needed help. I couldn’t push through and was beginning to wonder if I had some un-addressed co-infections in my body.

Shortly after making the appointment, we discovered we were expecting a baby. While I did want family one day, my heart roared in frustration! In moving I had the best opportunity yet to get on top of my health issues and develop relationships again. It had been about 2 years since living near friends and I was beginning to go ‘awkward’ around others from lack of social life. I had been extremely lonely and I longed to be part of a community, return to semi-normal life and get on top of this sickness so my man and I could enjoy the life we never had.

It all ended in one big crash. Defeated, deflated and down-right angry were the three words that described my life the first month.

“Why God? Why would You do this to me? Why are You trying to destroy me? Why don’t You want me to return to a normal life? Why does it feel that You are against me?

I called and cancelled my appointment. I was not doing well in spirit. The war raged. I asked all different things of God. And for the first time in my life, I understood how it could happen.

I believe God values life, but this little life was hindering-and would continue to seriously hinder-my own. Though I never would have done it, I finally understood how women choose abortion over life. I get it. I understand that desperation.

I don’t have a child on earth today. We miscarried. And while I felt relief, I had made peace with the idea after that first month, had even felt a wee bit of anticipation. While I could breathe easier, something was also lost. We both felt it in the midst of our relief.

Shortly after we found a home located 1 mile from the farm and though we left, we were offered a share at cost, to which we gave a loud-and-clear YES! Natural source of eggs, soil to grow a garden, fruit trees and group gardens…we wanted it!

The home we chose had so much of what I’d hoped for! In our price range (they gave us a smokin’ good deal!) it had extra rooms for guests, an outdoor gas stove for canning, a cold room for overwintering produce, located close enough I could bike to the farm, a place for a large garden…! It seemed as if God opened His hand to pour out blessing on us! We even have heritage turkeys on the property now!

Part 18

I re-booked my appointment. We went and were pleasantly surprised. While the center did not diagnose me with anything, their “treatments” did deal with the symptoms I had. I believe they significantly helped my adrenal system to get up and functioning as well.

Every 6-8 weeks I’d return for new “electro-dermal test” and tinctures according to what their readings revealed. While I never did get a diagnosis on anything, my health jumped. Energy increased. And the symptoms I was dealing with faded into the background. I almost felt normal again!

In fact, I was feeling so well that I began working casual at a local greenhouse. I was also working with chalk-board spray paint on my own time, trying to create my own goods to sell locally. After a month of work on top of the final full week, I crashed. And bad.

Welts were breaking out on my feet such as I’d never seen before. Fiercely itchy, they drove me crazy. I felt bogged down and sluggish, overly exhausted. At first, I didn’t understand what was going on.

And then I connected the dots: greenhouse & chemical fertilizers, spray-paint & chemicals, steady work & exhaustion…my body needed a detox! Not only was it worn down, but it probably couldn’t deal with the exposure I’d had to some very “bad” stuff.

After a 6 day liver cleanse, the spots on my feet went away and I began to feel better. Though I felt better, I recognized my reality: no chemicals or steady work where I could not rest if needed. I decided to stick to teaching private music lessons from my home.

We were connected to an amazing church, making friends and were well on the way to the natural living we desired. My man hunted that fall and bagged two deer and we fished whenever we had the chance.

We had a wonderful time exploring and poking into nooks and crannies of the valley, marveling in amounts of fresh produce, the ability to grow greens into November, the slower pace and natural-minded folks of this community.

We are deeply grateful and truly blessed. As of now, we are in a season of rest. And it’s beautiful to our souls!